


A Sleepless Night With Dan And Phil

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Philip is a Cereal Thief and he doesn't know shame, Swearing, but i edited it and now i like it, i think at least, in the sense that it can be seen as romantic or platonic, just two adult boys having some late night talk, kind of i mean not really angst maybe for like a paragraph or so, this fic used to be different but i was very displeased with how i ended it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 11:28:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6327175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Living with your best friend had infinite benefits, really. One was the chance to have strange sounding conversations at 4am lying in your bed without feeling awkward about it.  It was also one of those things they didn’t mention in the morning, as if they were unsure if this was stepping over some boundaries or not. But in the night time, when it was dark and every line was blurred, it seemed as normal as breathing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Sleepless Night With Dan And Phil

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy it.

1:25am.

He turned and twisted in his bed. He pulled the covers up to his eyes then pushed them down to his hips. He turned on his side, on his other side, on his back, stomach, side of stomach, other side. He put the pillow on the foot end of the bed. Then switched it back right away because it just felt wrong. He was getting frustrated then and just threw himself on the bed. He just couldn't make himself comfortable.

First his thoughts didn't let him sleep. They weren't even the worse kind, just the strange sort of mental shitposting. He groaned as he tangled himself in the covers again and tried to find comfort in the warmth, forcing himself to stay motionless.

Nights like these were not unusual for Dan, and neither were the thoughts he was having. They really did start out as images of jellyfish in anime school uniform, swimming through the ocean with a toast in a mouth jellyfish do not have, but somehow the thoughts came back to the one that has been bugging him for a while.

He was alone. Well, of course, he had his friends and family, but when it came to relationships in the romantic sense, he was alone and has been for quite a while. He wasn't even sure how long it has been. Seven years? Eight? Nine, even? Sure, he dated some people during those years, but it never got serious. And ever since he -they- moved to London, he was as single as one can be. Single like that old earring you find in the drawer when finally cleaning it out after two years. Single like a man-tear. Single like the last, already cold fry, drenched in ketchup nobody asked for. Single like Phil, Phil Lester, that guy sleeping in the other room.

Phil.

Dan reached for his phone and checked the time. 1:58 am. Marvellous. He wasn't even tired. He groaned and stared up at the ceiling as more thoughts occupied his mind.

When he next checked his phone it was 2:41am. He wasn't any more tired or comfortable. He has found an almost alright position to lie in but he had given up on that because his leg was hanging off of the bed and he was having none of that demonic touching bullshit. No thank you, no supernatural creature will be grabbing his ankle while he is on the verge of having a breakdown.

He suddenly heard something akin to a mumble, coming from behind him. Dan practically spun around in his sheets, only to realise that it was no murderous ghost nor a thief or axe murderer who broke into their flat to end his life in the most painful way imaginable.

Instead, it was Phil, possibly talking to... himself?... on the other side of the wall. It was only a few sounds, so maybe he spoke in his sleep. Dan remembered that he did mumble sometimes when he was half asleep, usually about something completely meaningless.

To be fair, it was a mix of weird, hilarious, and adorable.

This sounded like normal talk though.

Dan found himself still wondering at 3:06am.

He also found himself thinking about things that terrified him, at 3:10am. No, not ghosts or the dark. Well, that too. He was thinking about being alone. About never finding love. About perhaps having found it already, but the love he found not fitting the picture he imagined. He wanted to slap himself.

At 3:17am he heard the really aggressive kind of sheet shuffling that people who can't sleep do to sheets.

At 3:19am he said "Are you up?" in a voice that was loud enough that Phil -if he was awake indeed- would hear through the wall.

"Yeah" came the short answer. "Can't sleep" he added shortly.

"Me neither" said Dan, shuffling closer to the headboard. This was stupid and they didn't do often, but today seemed to be one of /those/ nights anyway, so why not go all the way.

"I am not even tired" Phil continued. "And I got up early this morning"

"Ten is not early."

"You barely stumbled out around one"

"I went to sleep late"

"You always do" Phil sounded like he was grinning. Dan smiled at the thought. Then he wanted to slap himself again.

This was so stupid. They were a wall apart and it wasn't like they couldn't get up. They had to speak loudly so the other would hear it through the wall.

"Wanna come over?" Dan said suddenly.

"I can't, my bed is really warm" Phil replied. His voice made it so obvious that he was smiling, it made Dan smile too.

His smile turned cheeky as he replied "My parents aren't home"

He could hear Phil laugh in his room. Dan snorted quietly.

He could also hear Phil's steps, him opening and closing his door, then seconds later opening Dan's door. He walked in quietly and shut it. His blanket was draped over his shoulders like a cape, probably as a weak attempt to keep some of the heat.

Dan smiled at him and slid to one side of his bed, patting the other side for no specific reason. It wasn't like Phil hesitated to plop down beside him and curl into his blanket.

"So" Dan said playfully. "We have the house all for ourselves."

"Yes we do" Phil agreed.

"Just the two of us." Dan curled into a ball under his covers as he grinned at Phil.

"What are you getting at, Daniel?" Phil asked in his best cheeky tone he could muster without laughing

"We could do anything, Philip. You and I." he said in a voice equally cheesy.

"Such as?" He practically purred, which turned into a muffled chuckle.

"Play video games until midnight like true rebels?" Dan suggested in a suddenly higher pitched voice, and Phil couldn't help but laugh. The whole conversation was so utterly idiotic in every sense, and so was the situation. Dan joined in with the laughter.

"Dan it is half past three"

"I am aware"

“I’m not sure I am still good at time travel. I haven’t done it since next month 12th”

Dan laughed the same way he always laughed when his friend made a joke like that. Amused, but trying not to show it.

They just laid there for some time, just hanging out in the way they often did. Just sharing space silently. Sharing silence. It was comfortable, not the kind of silence you feel the need to fill with words. It was the calming kind of silence, and it has always been easy for Dan to share that with Phil.

It was Dan who broke it after all, at 3:54am.

"Why are we not dating?" he asked quietly. He could feel Phil's eyes on him as he went on. "We are adults. You are almost thirty-"

Phil huffed at that. "Keep reminding me"

Dan smiled before he continued. "And I am not getting any younger either. But neither of us had a serious relationship for..." he stopped, but Phil finished for him.

"About since we met" he whispered, almost uncertain, and Dan nodded. Phil watched him for a while then said: "So this has been keeping you up."

"Amongst other things"

"What things?"

Living with your best friend had infinite benefits, really. One was the chance to have strange sounding conversations at 4am lying in your bed without feeling awkward about it. They didn't do it often, but it wasn't a particularly special thing that only happened every blue moon. It wasn't even a "thing", it was just talking when neither of them could sleep. It was also one of those things they didn’t mention in the morning, as if they were unsure if this was stepping over some boundaries or not. But in the night time, when it was dark and every line was blurred, it seemed as normal as breathing.

"Jellyfish.” Dan said simply.

Phil smiled. "So no questioning reality this time?"

"Didn't say that." Dan pulled the covers over his head for no reason. "I just don't want to go there right now because I will just go into existential crisis mode again and then you will have gotten out of bed for nothing"

"Ah" was all Phil answered. Phil didn’t add that lying in silence beside Dan would be a reason good enough for him any night. Well, perhaps not any night, he did love the warmth of his own bed, but this night it would be reason enough for him.

Dan could feel Phil snuggling closer and he smiled to himself. He won’t ask himself why.

"Does that really bother you?" Phil asked in a gentle voice after a while.

"Not being able to prove that anything is real?"

"Not being in a relationship."

"Oh" Dan pulled the covers off his head and stared up at the ceiling. His best friend waited for his answer. Dan focused on his breathing instead. "I don't know" he admitted as he turned on his side to face Phil.  
"I feel like it should" Dan mumbled, suddenly feeling embarrassed. He wasn't looking at Phil as he spoke and only raised his eyes to meet his gaze when he was not talking. Phil, however, kept his eyes on him, still.  
Dan blinked and glanced down again. "But it really doesn't. I feel like it should bother me, and I think it is expected of me... to be with someone. I mean, it's not like I don't have time... I keep telling myself I should be wanting to date and get into a serious relationship and… all that….” He took a deep breath and pressed his face into the pillow before he continued.  
“But I am happy with how it is right now.” Dan paused and looked up at Phil again, who was still watching him with a gentle expression. He tried to look at Phil as he spoke but he couldn’t. He felt a blush creep up his cheeks and his neck.  
He looked down and stared blankly at Phil’s t-shirt. “I keep thinking I should be thinking about who I will be spending my life with… that I should already have them…. but then my first thought is always you…” his voice became quieter and quieter as he continued.  
“I tell myself that it shouldn’t be, but I can’t help it Phil… I like how it is now." He was whispering and rambling but he knew Phil listened carefully. "Is that weird?" he mumbled and finally looked at Phil as he finished. "That I am completely happy just living here with you."

Phil smiled at that and it suddenly felt brighter in the room.

"Dan" he said, in a tone so full of admiration that it made Dan stare at him in a way he couldn’t even describe. "I am happy with how it is, too." Dan was caught off-guard by how passionate it sounded from Phil's mouth. Like he never ever even had a single thought about something being wrong with how it was. He suddenly felt a drop of guilt for even questioning it.

"Are you?" Dan still asked a few moments later, the doubt returning. He just wanted to hear it again and he didn't even know why.

"Yes" Phil replied immediately.

"Me too." Dan whispered. "I just...." he started but instead he just groaned and turned to press his face into the pillow again, perhaps a little too close to Phil. They wouldn’t mention that later, either.

"I think it's alright. We don't really fit the classic image of a family, but that doesn't mean it is wrong to like it this way."

Dan practically jumped up to his elbows and stared at Phil. "Family?" he asked.

"Are we not?" Phil said, smiling warmly at Dan. The sincerity in his voice surprised Dan, almost as much as what he was saying.

He never really thought about it that way, to be honest. They lived together, they shared almost everything, and they sometimes even seriously considered getting a dog for themselves. They owned games together, they bought foods together, they shared clothes, and they even had a joint bank account for god's sake - even though they also had separate ones. They only used the joint for rent, groceries, and YouTube.

Still, Dan never really considered that word. Even though that was what they were. Not the classic family with a mom and dad and 2 point 5 kids, hell, they weren't even dating.

Phil raised his eyebrows, his expression slowly turning anxious. Before the worry of saying something very wrong could set in, Dan smiled at him.

They stopped being "you and I" a long time ago, and now they were just "us".

"We are.”

They shared a moment there, they both knew it. A moment that will be difficult not to talk about. A moment they would want to save forever, secure it in their minds. But it also felt like one of those things you don’t mention in the morning because you are not sure if it really was true or if it had only been a dream.

"Do you want to eat cereal?" Dan asked suddenly and he was already getting out of bed, picking up a shirt from his floor and pulling it over his head.

"Can I have some of yours?" Phil asked, standing up.

Dan stared at him, pretending to be offended. "Dude you have a problem" He frowned at Phil but his eyes were smiling.

"Please?"

Dan rolled his eyes. "Of course" he shook his head to show how much he disapproved of his friend's habit.

"At least I asked." Phil said as they left the room.

"What an improvement" Dan said sarcastically.

Phil giggled fondly.

 

In the kitchen they made their cereals quietly. They seated themselves on the couch with their respective bowls, which were respected for not too long as Phil apparently felt the need to steal some from Dan's cereal even though he was eating the same kind.

"PHIL?!" Dan yelped, not that he could have done anything more without spilling cereal all over the couch, the floor, and them.

"Yours looked less soggy" he said apologetically as he shoved a spoonful into his mouth.

"What kind of reason is that?" Dan sounded so offended, Phil almost choked on the cereal trying not to laugh. "Well are they?"

Phil shook his head and wiped off the milk that was dripping down his chin from laughing with his mouth full.

"Worth it though" he said after he swallowed the cereal.

Dan rolled his eyes and held his cereal further from Phil. "You just love the thrill of stealing my food" he stated. "Don't you?"

Phil didn't say anything just smiled gingerly.

"Admit it" Dan demanded.

Phil tried to hold back his laughter as he shook his head.

"Yes you do."

Phil continued to weakly deny it.

"Admit it" Dan leaned forward and stared into Phil's eyes, pulling a face.

Phil had his cheeks puffed out from trying to hold his laughter in then he finally broke.

"Fine, fine I confess" he laughed and Dan tried to look angry but failed and smiled to himself instead.

"Thief." he said almost lovingly. What a completely failed domestic argument.

They ate the rest of their cereal mainly in silence.

The bowls sat in the coffee table, abandoned, as the two just sat on the couch, softly leaning against each other, staring outside.

"The sun is coming up" Phil stated.

"No shit" Dan answered. "We are trash. It must be like 6am"

"It's only 5:59, actually" Phil said as he looked up from him phone, which he apparently had with himself. He only received a disapproving look from Dan. "We should've filmed." Phil says. "A sleepless night with Dan and Phil. That would be new."

Dan blinked at him. "And film what? Us lying in my bed and talking about me having a midlife crisis?"

Phil giggled and shook his head. “More like quarter-life”

"They definitely wouldn't have talked" Dan said.

"Don't they always" Phil shrugged a bit but he was smiling.

Dan just nodded and slid down a little on the couch, leaning his head on Phil's shoulder.

"The sunrise is almost as beautiful as you, _honey_ " he said in a joking, slightly high voice.

"You are so sweet, _darling_ " Phil replied in an equally joking tone. They both laughed.

Dan glanced at Phil and smiled, shyly. The early rays of sunshine made Phil look _warm_. He really did look stunning in the morning light. They seldom saw each other this early in this light -as they were usually sleeping, and it made Dan feel some kind of a weird twist in his stomach. He blushed as he whispered quietly "It is true though."

Phil blinked at him, blushing too, before grinning at him, and Dan wanted to keep that image in his mind forever.

"Thank you" Phil whispered as he turned back to watch the sunrise.

Dan stared perhaps a little too long but neither of them mentioned.

They sat there in silence, Dan's head on Phil's shoulder, Phil's head on Dan's, until the sun was sitting firmly in the sky. Phil didn't notice when Dan fell asleep, only when he suggested going to sleep and no answer came from Dan. He glanced down on his face. Dan had his lips parted, eyes closed, relaxed expression on his face, breathing slow and steady.

Huh. Phil smiled to himself and turned back to the windows.

 

 

Dan woke up first, rubbing his eyes and letting his hand fall down again. It was hanging off the couch. And Phil. He was lying on top of Phil. Well, kind of. His face was more on Phil's stomach than on his chest, one arm dangling over his friend's hips, the other lost somewhere between him and the couch. Phil was sleeping, one of Phil’s legs off the couch, the other hugged by Dan’s, Phil's arm lazily around Dan's shoulder and his back.

It really wasn't as strange as he thought it should be. It was comfortable, even. He still didn't dare move. If he moved, he would wake up Phil. Would he? Phil was a heavy sleeper, usually, but... If he were to get up and leave Phil there, he would have to live with this memory and he was certain that he would feel awkward about keeping it a "secret". Not that it was, he figured. He fell asleep before Phil, he was certain of that. So if he were to get up now, it would be awkward for the both of them. Besides he would probably wake up right when Dan was in the most awkward position.

Or perhaps he was just looking for an excuse not to move because it was the most comfortable he has felt waking up in a long time.

Not that he was going to admit that.

Phil woke up about an hour after Dan, who was dozing off on his stomach still. When Phil was falling asleep he was slowly but surely sliding into lying down on the sofa, and Dan was sliding with him. He kind of registered that this would happen, but when you are already in a strange dream about popcorn and curtains with one leg, you really don't care about how awkward waking up will be.

It wasn't specifically awkward, actually. Phil reached up to rub his eyes and muttered "Good morning"

Dan groaned in response and lazily patted his side.

Phil couldn't help but smile. "Did you sleep well?" he asked as he ran his hand through his own hair, then through Dan's. For no reason in particular.

"Mmh" Dan answer and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand. "You?" he murmured.

"Yeah" Phil said as he continued to play with Dan's hair. "I had a strange dream"

"Hm?" Dan questioned.

"I don't remember" Phil said. "But I really want popcorn"

"You just woke up" Dan said dropping his arm to Phil's hips again. He hasn't moved since he first woke up, and in hindsight it was a horrible idea as he couldn't feel his other arm anymore.

"Is popcorn not appropriate breakfast food for you?"

Dan laughed a little at that. "Phil, no"

"Phil yes." he said, clearly filled with determination.

"Phil, no. No." Dan said as he turned enough to look at Phil. "We don't even have popcorn"

Phil's lips formed an o as a barely audible yet incredibly disappointed "oh" left his mouth. There went all his determination for the next ten minutes.

For a while they were silent then, just listening to each other's breathing. Neither of them were mentioning the situation, as if it were a normal occurrence in the Dan and Phil house.

It really wasn't.

They started laughing almost at the same time, Phil's hand still in Dan's hair.

"What are we doing?" Phil said between laughs as he made no attempt to move at all.

"I don't know" Dan said, also making no attempt to move away. Instead, he buried his face in Phil's chest, trying to make himself stop shaking with laughter.

"Hasn't this happened on Friends once?"

"What, sleeping on the couch together?" Dan stared at Phil, who nodded, his expression suddenly serious. Dan stopped laughing as well, before nodding. "Yes it did, I reckon." Then they were laughing again.

"It is really comfortable though" Phil said when he was able to finally stop laughing.

"It is" Dan agreed.

"Mmh" Phil nodded slowly and after that they fell silent again.

They got up about an hour later, and went on with their days. It was only when they went to bed that it started to sink in. It was Phil who retreated to his room first, and as he laid in his bed he couldn't find sleep no matter how much he turned. He dismissed it, of course, and so did Dan, when he went to sleep at almost 3am.

 

They continued to practically ignore it throughout the week, and it wasn't like it needed to be talked about, but they both knew that three days later they wanted nothing but to ask that one question that sometimes crossed their minds before, but never really settled in until recently. "What are we?" When you don't think about it, you don't realise that perhaps what you thought was true is actually bullshit. It wasn't like they were together, dating, in a relationship, or anything like that. But whenever they pictured their future, it was always with the other.

They have been thinking for the both of them for years, and not only about present things. Then there was that whole “family” thing as well, that made so much and so little sense at the same time.

So now, after the encounter that really wasn't as awkward as the tension that followed, they couldn't help but steal glances when the other wasn't looking.

And they couldn't help but think "yeah, I could live my life with him" every time.

 

It took them another week to actually address it. Dan had been in his browsing position for two hours now and the clock was dangerously close to 1am. Phil wandered into the kitchen for some casual midnight snacking, just to get some biscuits or whatever they had. And of course grab a handful of cereal. Dan’s cereal. _As always_. He did love the thrill of it, and also Dan always had the more sugary cereal.

It was on a whim that he walked into the living room and sat down next to Dan, saying “I love you”

Dan practically jumped off the sofa while making the sound equivalent of “??????”

Phil had no idea why he just said that at 1am while holding a cup of tea, but he went on. “I love living with you. I imagine my future spent with you and I haven’t been able to imagine it with anyone else ever since we moved here.” Where his calmness and determination to voice how he felt came from, he had no idea. “I want to spend my life with you, Dan.” He said before it finally settled in him what he just said. Then his expression went from determined to terrified in record speed.

Dan stared at him with an equally terrified look in his eyes, combined with confusion and shock.

“I… I mean…” Phil started shaking as he tried to find words to explain his previous words. “As in…” he wanted to run away and hide in his room until he can convince himself that he did not say any of that out loud. The fact that Dan stopped breathing, blinking, and moving, told him otherwise.

As Phil continued to try to make up an explanation to what he just said, Dan continued to be frozen.

“Dan. Breathe.” Phil said softly after half a minute of complete silence, when Dan was showing no signs of still being alive and not just in rigor mortis forever from now on.

Dan did as he was told, finally snapping out of his shock.

“Sorry” Phil apologised weakly. Silence followed, and it felt like hours. It was only seconds, but just as it is with being on the other side of the toilet door, time was passing differently when you were absolutely terrified.

“Phil.” Dan said finally, practically choking up. He coughed a bit too long while putting his laptop aside and looking everywhere but at his friend. “Phil” he said again, now followed with a sigh. “You can’t just announce that in the middle of the night like that”

Phil blinked at him. He didn’t sound mad, he didn’t sound disgusted, he didn’t even sound confused despite what he looked like.

Still, a gentle “I’m sorry” was all Phil could manage.

He had no idea what to do when Dan pulled him into a hug, so he did the only thing he could; returned the hug.

Silence again.

“I don’t know what I mean.” Phil said suddenly.

“It’s fine” Dan told him. Then he told him again. And again. Then he was telling them both and Phil could tell Dan was crying and he had no idea why but he didn’t know if he should ask. Then Phil was crying too and it was all so stupid and confusing and strange. Then they were giggling and then Dan was muttering something that Phil didn’t understand so he asked with a hum what Dan had said.

“I said, I-” Dan pulled away and looked Phil in the eyes. “I said, I love you”

Phil smiled, forgetting about his previous emotionally near-death experience, and asked teasingly "Does that mean I get to eat from your cereal without having to beg for permission?”

Dan dropped his forehead to Phil’s shoulder and groaned. “Never mind, I take that all back, I hate you.” He said without any meaning behind his words. "And that is not how consent works, Phil"

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading it -or scrolling viciously just to see the end notes. Either way, thank you for your interest. Please leave a comment if you feel like it.  
> Have a nice [accurate time of the day]
> 
>  
> 
> //Edit (2017 march 12): So to explain a little the whole "changed the ending" thing. This fic used to end with them sharing a kiss but honestly, it bugged me because that was not what I wanted to write. You can still read it as "they got together after this" if you want to, but my point was that it's alright not to date people and platonic love can be just as fluffy and important.


End file.
